Last Saturday night a couple of friends and I went out. We had a cocktail. We chatted while music played in the background. We grabbed a bite to eat. In the restaurant I spotted a girl from work. By the end of the night AC/DC was blaring from the speakers and people were singing along.
It was hot. We were getting tired.
(All fairly standard so far, right?)
So we put our clothes on and set off for home.
Sorry, what? I hear you ask.
Go back to the beginning of the text and add the word “naked” to the end of every sentence in the first paragraph.
Did you do it?
OMG, you wierdo! or something along those lines is probably what you are thinking right now.
Don’t scroll down for photos. There are none.
So what’s the deal? Why was I out on the town with no clothes on? Good question. No, it wasn’t a dare. I’m not in a cult. I haven’t become a nudist. The truth is we were at a sauna. Over here the saunas are “textilfrei” meaning you are not allowed wear your swimsuit or even keep you towel wrapped around you while you are in there. Not what your average Irish person is keen on – public nudity.
The particular sauna we visited is a huge complex with swim up bars in the pools, several saunas with different themes – one of which is AC/DC – and a restaurant. If I knew in advance what the night held in store for me, I am pretty sure I would have backed out. Luckily I didn’t. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time.
It was a night of extremes – naked people everywhere we turned, the heat of the saunas, the icy cold of the showers, not knowing where to look. Then there was the mild fear – what if I see someone I know? What if someone looks me up and down? What if no-one looks me up and down?
I can assure you I saw more bums, boobs and willies that night than in the rest of my life to date. My mind, now cultured and broadened through travel and emigrant life, switched to full on Irish person. The old fear-of-heights mantra raced through my head “don’t look down, don’t look down!”.
As the night wore on the chats and laughs with my friends took over and the nudity faded into the background. By the time it came to leave I had acclimatised. So much so that I might even go again. Might.