It is a day for making plans and lists. I have decided that just now. When things are going wrong, the best thing to do is try make them better.
For weeks now, life just hasn’t been right. It is never going to be perfect, even through there are perfect days now and again. But lately it hasn’t even been particularly good.
There are the small things, like the weather being miserable. Not proper Winter and not proper Spring. Snow falling but not sticking. The sun coming out but disappearing before we get our shoes on to go outside. I can’t change that. No one can.
Then there are the bigger things. The worse than usual fights and arguments between the children. The struggles between us and the children. Not just the ordinary ones, like having to ask five times before they put their shoes on. I mean the struggles where you as a parent come across as the bad guy ALL the time and there seems to no logical explanation.
The sulking kids, the crying, whingeing, complaining and storming off. The door slamming. The “I hate you” s and “You don’t even like me” s. The “I’m not eating that” and the “I won’t do what you tell me. I am the boss of me”.
It is tiring and draining and hurtful. I know they don’t mean it to be. But it gets to you, you know?.
So today is a day for plans and lists. We’re looking at what we need to change to be happy again. A list for each of us and a family list. I’m hoping that there will be some easy fixes and I know there will be some big things too.
Number One is getting older and more independent. He needs to feel he can choose things for himself and we have to find ways to let him do that. We are not prepared to push out the boundaries as far as he wants us too but hopefully we can compromise.
Number Two has grown so much so quickly that we easily forget he is only five. We expect too much of him and that has to change too. He still needs us a lot. He needs individual attention and more focus on him and what he wants.
Number Three is galloping towards little boyhood at an astounding rate. A Christmas he was still a baby. A walking, climbing, babbling baby, but a baby nonetheless. Now, turning 18 months old next week, he is most definitely a toddler, demanding attention, shouting out words and taking only one nap a day. We have to adapt to his changing needs also.
So, wallowing in self-pity is banned and positive, life-changing plans are getting made. Will they work? Who knows. Is it worth a try? Yes.
It's hard isn't it? We have stomping, door slamming, an 11 year old going on 16, a 3 year old who's pulling the house asunder, a 10 year old hormonal boy, a teen doing exams and then there's the almost 4 year old….she's ok actually lol!
The weather's been dreadful here too, as I write this I can hear more rain falling, all of Ireland seems to be unwell; perhaps I should make lists too, it's a good idea, I hope it works xxxx
Nicola
It sure is, isn't it Nicola? Make lists. I hope they help you with your lot.
It is so hard but the list sounds like a fantastic idea. Good luck and I hope that it goes ok. #twinklytuesday
Four days in and we are seeing great results already. I'm so pleased we did it. Such an easy thing to do when you think about it.
Thanks for stopping by from #twinklytuesday.
Good on you with the positive approach, go you with the lists, it is very satisfying ticking things off! #TwinklyTuesday
Gosh how I can relate to this! We have cycles of this (often hormone related with two teenage girls!) but yes, it's good to make changes. I have one who is pushing all the boundaries too but she's 15. How old is your eldest? It's good to give them small amounts of independence, it really does work wonders for their self esteem. I hope things improve 🙂
Thanks! Yes, it does feel good to have something to work with, do (or and at least try) and then tick off the list. So far so good anyway.
Thank you Suzanne. Our eldest is going on 8 but he compare himself with his friends and what they are allowed to do. We don't agree with all of it, but we have to give in to a few things to help the situation.
Good luck with your girls. I am dreading the teenage years.
it's hard to look on the bright side sometimes but I like your idea of plans and positivity to keep you focussed. Best of luck and hopefully spring will help you on your way #twinklytuesdays
Oh this must be so draining for you! I hate the whining and the nagging; you feel so miserable and grumpy. I think your plan sounds ace; positivity and letting the older children feel more independent sounds great. Good luck xx #thetruthabout
good luck with the plans – hope they work! And we've been feeling like the bad guys too often here too (three boys of 8, 6 and 3) are are trying to focus on being really positive about everything lovely they do – the carrot rather than the stick approach. Well, that's always our plan really but we've been reminding ourselves of it a lot recently! #thetruthabout
What a great idea! Might have to nab it myself for my family. Can see the lists going up on a wall somewhere in our kitchen…
Hope it works for you.
Thanks Ali. It got to that stage of desperation where the only thing to do was try getting to root of it by putting things down on paper.
Thanks Sarah. That is exactly it! So far the plan has worked well. WE all know where we stand and we know each of us is trying to be better.
Thanks Maddy. That's a good approach. We needed to get the parenting plan in our heads onto back and get it working in reality again. We'd drifted off track.
Thanks. So far it is going well. We have one list on the blackboard in the kitchen and the others in a notebook, for reference.